夜深人静

夜深人静
自己好像又想多了
本来还以为自己过得很充实
那一切都是自欺欺人
安慰自己的话

为什么
说好不上网的嘛
为什么去上网呢
还看到让自己伤心的事

当初说好一起
现在感觉你好象放开了我

我出出的在为你想
感觉我又做多余了

在加上这种情况
我没心情了

反正 现在有我没有我都没差了
好傻

stand

You clearly know that where we stand

We can be happy as friends :)

I sincerely hope that your one and only will love you more than I do :)

Not much days left

Don't know when will we meet again?

10 years? 20 years or never :(

Or the day when I received your invitation?

Well, who knows?

I can see you gave out so much

I really hope that your future will appreciate you :)

傻子

一再地提醒自己不要当傻子

很多时候 我们都把事情想得很美

我以为 我了解你

原来 一切都是谎言



不知何时

我们没有话说

不像以前那么心灵相通

我知道我很想你

却不知道你是否如此


从你口中知道

原来他依旧未变


你不知道

我最不想听的

每次都有能力让我心情澎湃

让我觉得我不了解

都是谎言

today :)

I was once happy that you invited me

BUT

is that an invitation?

or just because you misunderstood what I said?

Looking at your expressions emoticons,

I felt that you are nervous (which you behave abnormal)

At that moment, I think that is an invitation

However, after you slept,

I re-read our conversation 

well, maybe I am just thinking too much 

It's just a normal phrase..

But I somehow think that it had meanings at that moment

Anyway,

just forget about it.

It is not important.

I do not know when we will be strangers 

I believe one day we will

It kills when you just having an ignoring face when you see me

but eventually you were warm in words

wow

I don't like this kind of feeling :/

Well, my revision sets just started.

I WAS WRONG

Now, I can greatly said that I prefer set 2 :)

Set 1 is damn stress which I got it for my maths

everyone was so cool, smart..

I felt left behind .__.

I felt pressured as they are shocked that I am not in set 1 for sciences.

Am I that good to you all ?

Well, I don't study well, you all should take note of it !

Just few weeks to my FINAL

and what the heck I am doing here?!?!

Because of my stupid feelings

I can't concentrate well :(

this was Aquarius weakness :(

Too Cared when they choose to care

won't let go if they held on no matter what it takes

她

即使你最后有多讨厌她
最后还是不忍心抛下她

明明很开心终于可以摆脱她
却为了她那怜悯的请求软下心来

即使有多么不想
最后还是答应了

这就是我
难以放下
虽说不在乎，我想还是少少的在乎

sad

I don't know why I was so cared about it
maybe as I knew it
I really care how you guys see me
although I know you all won't say what I was thinking in mind

I was so sad for the whole week
SAD
having no mood in doing anything

I hope to get some understanding from you
but in the end I felt it is not suitable to talk to you
maybe you will jut teasing me in your style
but not comforting me
or even make me feel that we are even further

I don't know why I expressed out to someone which I just get close just by this few weeks
I like the way you talk to me :)
I really felt better, seriously!
Hope it may continue till tomorrow or future :)
Thank you very much!
I didn't know that there is still someone so concerning about me

You know how it feels when you are not too good enough to be with your friends?
HOW? :/

Next week is the revision timetable which I hated..
I hope everything is fine!

Frustrated :/

Well, you didn't know
it is a frustrated week.
I hate it!

I had just slept for less than 4 hours.
Doing my stupid maths DI till about 4am everyday ;/
In the end, I don't know what I am doing is it on the right path.
I know that Angeline was damn concern about me.
But I am sorry I didn't listen to you in the end.
I never wanted to tell you but secrets cannot be hidden.
I didn't blame her for telling you unintentionally..
From the moment what came out your mouth,
it kills me in the inside..
As a matter of  friend and my grades.
I can't afford to lose my marks again

I got my semester 2 results.
It was quite disappointing that I didn't manage to perform well as I promised myself to do so.
I don't know why I got the lowest grade in my favourite subject.
I was damn sad.
Maybe my pratical report sucks.
I remembered I did that till I just slept 1 hour.

Why?
I saw my friend's chemistry pratical.
She got a full marks for it.
Sam requirements was not that deep :/
Well, I wrote something more or should say that I think more
eventually the teacher don't like!
Well, if I had know this earlier, I wouldn't have stress so much of my tiny brain cells :/
however it was too late...

I gonna graduate 7 weeks later
or perhaps six weeks later?
Gonna miss so many people :(

Trial was coming
but I felt unprepared or should said I never prepared yet!?!?!
I felt like I was like lost of memories for ten years!!!

What worried me was they will be a change of class according to grades :/
I don't want to be in the back group :/

Looking at my lazy friends who all started revising now
how will you feel?

It was so discourage when you worked so hard many times and eventually you can't get the grade that you want!

I don't know whether how will my atar be?
Looking at all my Chong Hwa friends,
there are so good?
Why can't I just like them?
Why I am so stupid?

I know you still care

from your eyes and expression

I know you still care

I felt like a fool

believing that time eventually can replace everything

believing the moments you enjoyed the most

believing that I am not just a tool.